Communication in Marriage

Whew! Now I think I'm on track and up to date. ^_^
  THIS week we have been discussing how to communicate with your spouse and how each person has their own language and that we are always encoding whatever we are saying or not saying. You can never not communicate.
  I think this week is my favorite so far. I LOVE learning about communication and how one hints at things or how they use their body language to talk. I use my body language a lot more than I do with spoken words. It's rather frustrating when people don't "get" my language. It's really like they don't understand me at all. But when there is someone who really does seem to "get" it more often than not than it makes you feel special and incredible. And it feels you have a special connection to that person.
  But even in marriage you do not always understand what the other is trying to communicate. So whenever you don't you need to make sure you express your misunderstanding openly and "identify the elephant." You're in a marriage. There must be no secrets and as little misunderstandings as possible.

Family Crisis

Crisis' in the family are never fun to have and usually quite stressful. Here's a list of some things that could cause such:

-Trauma
-Unsatisfied with current situation
-Urgent
-Family at risk
-Instability
-Personal

But aren't those for the better? If you react well that is. Do you ever notice that after a big crisis happens you tend to become better and stronger afterwards? Because you learn to work together more as a family and you get to know each other more and know how to cope with whatever crisis that will happen in the future. You are stronger and better because of it.

• Crisis=Danger & opportunity
• Risilience
• An opportunity to reach out
• Experience
• Support

How you come out of the situation depends on this model:
ABCX Model.
Actual event
Both resources, response
+Cognition= eXperience.

So, always try to look at the positive outlook during your crisis and never give up and know that it is all for the better. =)

Family Dynamics

Sorry, a long while ago I forgot to post on here about understanding family dynamics and theories.

And this is an impotant part of the class and family function. Basically it's about how each person has a role in the family, especially the Mom and Dad. The Dad has weaknesses that are strengths to the Mom/wife. And vice versa... So, therefore they are a team. In the family the husband and wife need to have the closest connection and relationship, not with their children. You wouldn't want a son or daughter to have a closer relationship than the husband and wife because then the foundation falls apart and then the whole family falls through.

Everything needs it's balance and understanding. Especially the family.

Marriage Adjustments/Sexuality

So sorry about not posting for a couple of weeks, I've had a lot on my mind lately and have been distracted because of it.

My last post was on Physical attraction and falling in love and that jazz. Well, of course the next step is marriage, (if you're actually in love with they guy/girl) and getting used to the fact that you're "stuck" with that mate so you might as well know how to handle it well so that you don't drive each other crazy. The adjustments of marriage are for all newly weds and everyone experiences 'em. A few things they have to get used to are here:

• Money decisions together
• Differences
• New Experiences
• Roles
• Boundaries
• Social/friendship
• Stress of Children
• Etc

Basically, the best way to cope with all of these new exciting events and things that you've never experienced before is to talk it out calmly and understandingly. TALK IT OUT. The one thing you do not want to do is hide your feelings from each other because that just creates a border around you two and that's not healthy to have. He's/she's your best friend. Let them know how you feel.

Now the next subject. Sexuality. Yup. When you get married you have sex, it's natural and is supposed to happen. Now I'm not going to get into the awkward depth of it because that's just awkward. But what I do love about what we learned about it is that it's a great way to express your feelings to your spouse. It shows you how to be gentle and affectionate and personal. It's very personal in fact it's sacred. So, you must do it in a divine way not a natural way. Everything you do you want it to be divine because that is what we are all trying to be, so it has to be included in every aspect of our lives.
 And that's that for now.

Physical Attraction

This last weeks discussions in Family Relations we talked about "falling in love" and if you truly love someone or if you're just focused on one thing that makes you feel good. Can you actually talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend rather than just touching each other and having a great physical relationship? People get so excited when someone touches them because it makes them feel like they know the other person better even if they actually do not know hardly anything about that person. And it's very true. Ever since I learned this I've been paying atention more to how people touch each other and how it affects the other person or vice versa. I've noticed it in my own life that when someone caringly touches my shoulder while saying something to me I feel closer to them even if I don't know them personally in any close way. It's frustrating to have those feelings, yet it's very comforting when you already do know them well.... I just wish those feelings didn't come up with practically strangers. :/

Homosexuality

   Ah, this week was so intense! Yesterday's discussion we talked about how people call themselves "gay" and why they get those feelings in the first place. It's not that anyone is born gay. NO ONE IS BORN GAY. The reasons people get those feelings at all are because of phycho-social enfluences. No one is biologically homosexual in any way, they either get peer pressured in some kind of way from someone or they may be mullested and realized they "liked" it or they just want intimacy. For example, if a boy never had a father or had a good relationship with their father they lacked that intimacy with their Father. And so men are foriegn to them and they want to explore it.
   Just like having lustful thoughts, having premarital sex, or watching pornography, having homoesexual feelings and acting on those feelings is just like those others. It's wrong and a sin and you need to stay away from those feelings. And yes some people have a harder time dealing with that temptation more than others, but some people have a harder time dealing with resisting drugs and smoking temptations than others. But no matter what it is we need to resist those feelings.

Interracial Marriage's

This week's discussions and readings really intrigued me... I thought it was interesting how some interracial marriages work better than others in general. And I love how mexican/white marriages seem to work better than all of the other ones. But of course this is all a generalization because you can never know how it is with everyone who experiences it.... which is the downside of research on people... you never can say, for example: "Mexican's are all illegal immigrants." Yes, there are some that are, but there are also some that are not. Everyone is different in they're OWN way no matter what race or sex you are. We are all unique.